3rd Chair Trombone: "What's Your Haiku IQ?" for September 14th, 2007 (TS)

With Rick Coleman
You are reading 3rd Chair TromboneWe're the web's only semi-pro comedy blog, with offices in Los Angeles, Queens, London, Bangkok and St. Petersburg.
Good day, gentle poets, and welcome to this week's "Friday Three-Way," where you, the artist, may choose your source material from three different challenges. So without delay, onto the headlines of the day!

You are reading 3rd Chair Trombone
Challenge One:
Unless you have been residing under a stone, you know full well that the headline dominating today's news is the matter of former football star and suspected slaughterer O.J. Simpson's alleged involvement in a casino robbery of sports memorabilia. With that in mind, here's your challenge: write an original haiku combining elements of "The Juice's" latest controversy, his career, rocky relationships, or alleged rampaging.

Challenge Two:
A law in California was just signed banning those under 18 from using cell phones or other electronic devices while driving. According to Governor Schwarzenegger, "Teenage drivers are more easily distracted. They are young, inexperienced and have a slower reaction time...We want to eliminate any extra distractions so they can focus on paying attention..." Bearing that in mind, here's your challenge: write an original haiku relating to this new law, teen drivers using cell phones, and any related elements.

Challenge Three:
Today in Beijing, it was reported that the Chinese government will now be putting more pressure on child-bearing couples in an attempt to curb the population explosion. Couples having more than one child will receive a black mark on their credit record. With that in mind, here's your challenge: write an original haiku relating to this new development, overpopulation, Chinese culture or communism.

Let's see what your Haiku IQ really is! Good luck and good wordsmithing!

Rick Coleman is not a professional poet or writer. He currently lives and works in the San Fernando Valley as a freelance Database Warehouse consultant. He can be reached at rickpoet2002@hotmail.com.

Comments

No one's haikuing.
Could it be Jeff's last comment?
Driving them away?

Posted by: bobby | Sep 14, 2007 at 05:32 PM

Orenthal, why man?
If you wanted the jerseys,
Well, you could just ask.

First black athlete to
What was it? Oh yeah. He was
In the Naked Gun

He knifed his ex wife
The country split, racial strife
One time Hertz spokesman

Two parter:

Cruising down Sunset
In Dad's shitbox Elantra
Think I'll text my boo
****
But wait, they say no
To calling friends. What is this?
Nazi Germany?

They'll ding your credit
If you put a kid up in
Your wife's mu shu pork

Uh...

Posted by: Tim | Sep 15, 2007 at 06:57 PM

Tim - the mu shu pork comment was great

A casino heist
One glove left behind - OJ
Innocent - Bad odds

Immature texting
Cause accidnets and road rage
No more - brb

Government control
Chinaman want camera
Credit denied - ugh!

Posted by: Shane Miller | Sep 16, 2007 at 10:12 AM

O.J.'s logic's sound:
A running back will run back...
To get back his crap.
***
Oh-em-gee O.J!
Can I borrow your Bronco?
El-em-ef-a-o!
***
Wanted bro for sis,
But government said uh-uh.
A chink in their plan.

Posted by: bobby | Sep 16, 2007 at 03:39 PM

Juice has teenager
Who can text in Mandarin
China boy Simpson

Posted by: Shane | Sep 17, 2007 at 03:37 PM

Shane combines them all.
A haiku for the ages.
Don't he have a job?

***

Damning audio.
Will put O.J. in for life.
Roundabout justice.

Posted by: bobby | Sep 17, 2007 at 04:31 PM

I should be asleep
But there's this blog that keeps on
Stealing all my time

Last haiku was dumb
I apologize, you see
I just took sleep meds

Posted by: Tim | Sep 18, 2007 at 12:08 AM

Haiku only job
When people are not calling
For investments stuff

Posted by: Shane | Sep 18, 2007 at 04:44 AM