3rd Chair Trombone

DEION (JD)

BOBBY'S BIRTHDAY WISHES (JD)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BUBS!

FULL MINUTE OF RIBS (JD)

You asked for it -- all of you -- and now you have it:  a full minute of Mr. Spriggs BBQ.  And, yes, the meat still falls off the bone.

WHAT HAS MAC TONIGHT BEEN DOING? (JD)

It's been 22 years since McDonald's first introduced its moon-headed spokesman, Mac Tonight.

What has Mac Tonight been doing since the ad campaign was discontinued in 1997?

Mourning the loss of conservative columnist Robert Novak.

Co-hosting "The View."

Beating the rap.

Posing for new Procter & Gamble logo.

Starting at point guard for the Phoenix Suns.

Doing a walk-on on "CSI: Miami."

Finally setting up Facebook account.

Paying Jack back every last nickel.

Sitting in with Paul and the band.

Getting a little Grimace.

Demanding that his Wayfarers be replaced with Groucho glasses at all public appearance events.

Recurring role in "Family Circus" as cool "Uncle Ace."

Six long ones.

Struttin'.

Things I like about you. (TS)

• When it's time to do the dishes, you never stop with yours.  You always wash mine too.
• You always trim the wicks on the candles.
• You smell like Windex.  The Mountain Clean (TM) version.
• You vacuum under the furniture.
• When I mentioned it, you stopped wearing your football cleats on my hardwood floors.
• Your birthday falls on a lunar holiday.
• You got me into Yerba Mate tea.
• One time, you had a chance to go to the mall and get Donny Most's autograph, but you chose to stay and finish our game of Risk. 
• You only eat half an apple at a time. The uneaten half goes in the fridge's crisper, where you'll consume it at a later time as part of a balanced meal. 
• You could have kept my Hall and Oates Greatest Hits album and I would have never realized it, but you gave it back anyway. 
• You're a pretty good partner to have in a fight, except when the other side has Uzis.
• At certain angles, your nose is cat-like.
• You were the one who taught me that the phrase "Making ends meet" wasn't spelled "Making ends-meat." 
• You observe all posted speed limits, except in Montana and Germany.
• One day before my new job, you let me take your urine to work in a ziplock baggy.
• You taught me to tightroll my jeans, and then when the fad was over, you taught me to stop tightrolling my jeans.
• You took me to the emergency room that one time and waited while they took the bullet out of my lung.
• You like Elton John, but you're not an ass about it.
• When my mother called for me that one day, you told her I was at work when I was actually in the next room playing seven straight hours of online Texas Hold 'Em Poker in my underwear.
• I like the way you move. 
• You have slowly evolved over millions of years to possess the ability to breathe underwater, but you rarely show off.
• That one movie, "You Got Served," was based on your life.
• You're not afraid to be naked if it serves your purposes.
• You can read the thoughts of hobos.
• You make a mean enchilada.
• When we shake hands, I know you're not going to kill me in my sleep.