Christian Bale Mad Lib (BH)

Christian Bale: Am I going to walk around and rip your [adjective] lights down in the middle of a scene? Then why the [noun] are you walking right through? Ah-da-da-dah, like this in the background. What the [tropical fruit] is it with you? What don't you [action verb] understand? You got any [ballpark food] idea about, hey, it's [WW2 ally] distracting having somebody walking up behind Bryce in the middle of the [bodily function] scene? Give me a [superlative] answer! What don't you get about it?

Shane Hurlbut (the cinematographer): I was looking at the light.

Bale: Ohhhhh, goooood for you. And how was it? I hope it was [favorite childhood cereal] good, because it's useless now, isn't it?

Hurlbut: OK.

Bale: [a fish] sake man, you're amateur. McG, you got [80s hair band] something to say to this [tallest building in Chicago]?

McG (the director): I didn't see it happen.

Bale: Well, somebody should be [favorite Brothers & Sisters character] watching and keeping an eye on him.

McG: Fair enough.

Bale: It's the second time that he doesn't give a [name brand kitchen appliance] about what is going on in front of the camera, all right? I'm trying to [Hamlet soliloquy] do a scene here, and I am going "Why the [feminine item of clothing] is Shane walking in there? What is he doing there?" Do you understand my mind is not in the scene if you're doing that?

Hurlbut: I absolutely apologise. I'm sorry, I did not mean anything by it.

Bale: Stay off the [Ben & Jerry's flavor] set man. For [beleaguered Steinbeck character] sake. Alright, let's go again.

McG: Let's just take a minute.

Bale: Let's not take a [sitcom catch phrase] minute, let's go again.

Hurlbut: I'm --

Bale: I'm going to [failed Obama nominee] kick your [serious illness] ass if you don't shut up for a second! All right?

Unknown voices: Christian, Christian. It's cool.

Bale: I'm going to go -- Do you want me to [Palin child] go trash your lights?  Do you want me to [Rob Reiner movie] trash 'em? Then why are you trashing my scene?

Hurlbut: I'm not trying to trash your scene.

Bale: You are trashing my scene!

Hurlbut: Christian, I was only --

Bale: You do it one more [holiday sentiment] time and I ain't walking on this set if you're still hired. I'm [any teletubby] serious. You're a nice guy. You're a nice guy, but that don't [old-timey prospector word of frustration] cut it when you're [Shane Hurlbut's mother's name, with -ing] around like this on set.

***

Comments

[stevie]

You've created a new genre that I LOVE. Now, do MLK's I have a dream speech!

[Tim]

This = yes

[FluidIce]

That so daschled my tumor ass.

[bobby]

That's the spirit, Fluid! Frankenberry good!

[Jif]

Oh, my, oh, my, oh, my.

beleaguered Steinbeck character
holiday greeting
old-timey prospector's word of frustration

This should be famous.

[bobby]

Ugg, you're trashing my scene.