"What's Your Haiku IQ?" for August 28th, 2007 (TS)

With Rick Coleman
You are reading 3rd Chair Trombone

We're the web's only semi-pro comedy blog, with offices in Los Angeles, Queens, London, Bangkok and St. Petersburg.

Yes, you are indeed reading 3CT.  Enjoy.
Greetings, fellow Haiku-ers. As you know, the big news of late has been NFL star Michael Vick's public apology and professed conversion to Christianity after he plead guilty to a federal dogfighting charge. With that in mind, here's your challenge: write an original haiku combining elements of Vick's professional status, alleged crime, press conference apology, and/or personal life.  I've led with a sample to get you started:

He made the dogs fight
They tore each other in two
He broke Jesus' heart

Let's see what your Haiku IQ really is!  Good luck and good wordsmithing! 

Rick Coleman is not a professional poet or writer.  He currently lives and works in the San Fernando Valley as a freelance Database Warehouse consultant.  He can be reached at [email protected].

Comments

[bobby]

He heard someone say
That all dogs go to heaven;
Put it to the test.

[stevie]

Such an 'action man'!
For shame, Mr. Vick:
'rape stand' ain't a verb

[bobby]

If we forgive steve
For ending a line at five...
We can forgive Vick.

[bobby]

Vick's riled pups attacked,
Cause it's dog eat dog out there,
'Til he met the Lord.

Did it but sorry:
Conviction meets conviction;
Which holds up in court?

Trained 'em, faught 'em, lied,
But 'pology accepted,
Long as the Lord's cool.

Thus sayeth the dogs:
We stand at the door and bark --
Let us back in, dude.

[bobby]

Rick Coleman, question:
Were you Major Winchester,
On a show called MASH?

[Jif]

Sobs at night, alone
Rememberin' Ol' Yeller
Oh, well. Kill some more.

Swears off fightin' dogs
"The Lord wants my ways to change."
Drunken cats it is.

"Only fought them dogs
When I got real desperate--
Ran outta Mex'cans."

[Jif]

Cops knew where to look
"House at the end of the street,
Where the red fern grows."

[Jif]

In court, get edgy
Cause Judge says, "Mike, now it's you
Who will take the 'stand.'"

[the great spirit of pepe guzman channeled by an unwilling typist]

Dog blood on my hands.
Twenty mil back to Falcons.
Wheres the titty bar?

[bobby]

Vulgar. Unwashed. Yet I think p.g.'s great spirit has captured a truth here.

[Shane]

these are great

[Jif]

"Mighty fine meal, Mike.
Tasty meat. What kind is it?"
"That dog's name was Steak."

[Nonchalant Savant]

"Who let the dogs out?"

Will quite soon be replaced by:

"When will Vick get out?"